Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
