2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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