just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
