Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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