I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
