so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
