i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
