Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
