We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
