I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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