my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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