oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
