So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
