covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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