just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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