Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
