Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I am one with the molecules
Randomize
