she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
