I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I want to be your penis for a week.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
don't judge my taste in strippers
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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