when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
