do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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