Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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