But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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