M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
