big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
