So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
