oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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