Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
