my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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