i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
