Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
