i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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