You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
