2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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