Sponge bath it is.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
