Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize