How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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