Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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