haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
