She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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