i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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