So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
