i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
