You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
