oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm at about main and main street
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
