Pregnant stripper...not hot.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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