I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
