Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
