woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
