i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
