You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
