I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
