You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
