I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
