She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
