i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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