the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
