i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
